Best Translation Awards - Translation (English to Chinese)

 

           Junior Secondary

           Champion (#45)

 

Name: Wong Chun Miu (王真妙)

School: The MCHK Wesley College

Form: 3

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

  • Vivid and emotive adjectives and verbs used.

  • Content is loyal to the original piece and mostly satisfies the translation syntactically.

  • Need to show even more awareness of differences in syntax of the two languages.

  • Impressive translations that have demonstrated strong emotions suitable for the text:是鶴立雞群的。

~ Eva Cheung

This is a very close tie with #52. The only reason this translation wins out is because it responds to the genre of the source text - a film voice-over, which would mean that the text carries the tone of daily speech and is not poetry  per se (even though it is poetic). The translator clearly took time to study the semantic logic of the source text, and mindfully reproduced it in Chinese.

~ Hedy Ting Bok

您的文字留給讀者的,是美麗的沉穩。用詞理性、大氣,卻因一氣呵成而蘊藏著連綿的深意!您對藝術家及其作品精神的理解內斂而深沉,卻也因此浸入骨髓,令人回味。相信這種沉穩的美,是來自您對藝術和人生的獨特思考,更來自您多年來沉浸中文世界結下的碩果。祝願筆耕不輟!

~ Sue Gu

 

Very accurate and poetic, there is a great flow in the translation

~Wencong Chen

 

 

          Senior Secondary

          Champion (#52)

 

Name: Tang Ho Fai Priscilla (唐皓徽)

School: Maryknoll Convent School (Secondary Section)

Form: 5

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

  • The most poetic translation. Very impressive work.

  • Sophisticated adjectives and expressions used.

  • Vivid verbs

  • Strong in rhythm

  • Excellent grasp of cultural and language distinctions.

~ Eva Cheung

If the source text were poetry in genre, #52 would be the best translation. The choice of diction and condensation of text is marvellously creative and at times pleasantly surprising. It is no easy feat to comprehend the music of a text at such a deep level, and to translate it with such beautiful constructions is simply ingenius. Very well done indeed!

~ Hedy Ting Bok

讀您的作品,猶如在品一壺上佳陳釀,字裡行間不僅透著對畫家梵古理智的崇敬,更有對其舉世無雙藝術特質的豔羨與嚮往。不得不說,您的作品恰如其分調動了深刻的內在感知,同時運用了中國古典文字、文學、文化的韻律和深意映襯出西方經典藝術之魂、之美。為您當下已具備的融會中西之境喝彩,更期待未來,您可以引領新一代學貫中西之風!

~Sue Gu

Beautifully written, though some original meaning is lost in translation

~Wencong Chen

          Senior Secondary

          1st Runner Up (#24)

 

Name: Yip Chun Ming (葉津茗)

School: Maryknoll Convent School (Secondary Section)

Form: 4

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

  • Beautiful and emotive adjectives and verbs used.

  • Sophisticated language that fits the content and register of the original piece.

  • Need to show even more awareness of differences in syntax of the two languages.

  • Impressive translations that have demonstrated strong emotions suitable for the text: 令人心緒不寧的, 去吼叫屬於自己的贊歌, 幻變成了夢魘

~ Eva Cheung

 

The use of words corresponds correctly to the English original, but is sometimes too literal. This makes it hard to understand the meaning of the text if one reads only the Chinese translation without referring to the original.

~ Hedy Ting Bok

您的作品富有詩意,不僅讓人明白意思,更有催人深入藝術境界之美!且句段之間蘊含了諸多對藝術家及其作品的情緒和情感,讀來頗覺波瀾起伏,有連綿不絕之感。而這不正是中華語言文字的特異功能?今後,若能對文字在具體語境下選擇、應用、匹配度等有更高要求,您的詩一定會更美,表達的意義也會更精准。

~ Sue Gu

Quite literal, not poetic enough

~Wencong Chen

            Senior Secondary

           2nd Runner Up (#39)

 

Name:  Cheng Chung Ming (鄭頌明)

School: Pentecostal Lam Hon Kwong School

Form: 4

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

  • Content is loyal to the original piece and generally satisfies the translation syntactically.

  • Need to show even more awareness of differences in syntax of the two languages.

  • Impressive translations that have demonstrated strong emotions suitable for the text: 它正在轉變成噩夢,顏色轉化為火焰,光線化成大火

~Eva Cheung

 

Accurate translation with some success in capturing the original images. This entry could be greatly improved by careful consideration of what would sound more natural to a Chinese speaker. It would be helpful to comb through the internal logic of the multiple English predicates (“beneath…beneath…there is…) in order to build clearer sentences in Chinese. Overall a worthy attempt!

~Hedy Ting Bok

 

您的作品透著文字的芳香和畫面的美意,讀來令人浮想聯翩,仿佛進入了中西文化交融的藝術境界!只可惜某一些語義表達還不夠精准,某一些句段之間聯繫還不夠緊密。無論如何,請堅持這份拳拳之心,徜徉于中文獨特而精彩的世界。總有一天,您的筆下會流出令自己、令他人更滿意的作品!

~Sue Gu

 

Quite literal, could connect the sentences better

~Wencong Chen

 

 

            Open Category

           Champion (#23)

 

Name: HO Wan Tung (何韞彤)

School: Not Applicable

Form: Not Applicable

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

  • Beautiful and emotive adjectives and verbs used.

  • Sophisticated language that fits the content and register of the original piece.

  • Able to use Chinese punctuations to express pausing.

~ Eva Cheung

 

Excellent conveyance of poetic essence, but perhaps erring too much on the non-literal side and therefore losing key images along the way. Especially wonderful parallelisms in Chinese,

“形 轉變成夢魘

色 幻化為烈焰

光 亦化作野燹”.

There is a fine line between translation and re-creation, however, and it could be tempting at times to wander a bit far into the realm of secondary creation.

~ Hedy Ting Bok

 

您的作品就像一幅具象的中文雕塑,活生生將一名超級藝術家的外形和內心坦陳在大家面前。初讀似見梵古君,再讀若遇梵古魂!正如一千個讀者眼中有一千個哈姆雷特,您眼中、筆下的藝術家及其作品是如此聲情並茂,熱烈奔放,且富有詩情畫意!讀來句斷情不斷,生生不息。

~  Sue Gu

 

Poetic, but occasionally loses the essence of the original lines

~ Wencong Chen

 

          Overall comments for the Translation Works from our Adjudicators:

A translation in general is a product of two, perhaps very different, environments, that of the original author and that of the translator.  The environment of the reader also affects how the result is interpreted.  This mixture of environments can be beneficial to the final result, in the same way that condiments can enhance the flavour of a tasty culinary dish.  Pursuing the analogy, it is also true that if the environment of the translator is applied too liberally, then the author's original flavour can be diluted or masked.

The narrator, some would say performer, of a poem or the actors and production team of a play greatly influence the ideas and emotions of an audience.  In a similar way, a translator can influence the audience of an original piece of classical Chinese literature, which would otherwise be inaccessible to that audience.

The concept of context extends beyond that of the original work, and applies also to any translation. Every new translation of a particular piece of literature has a unique context. 

Overall speaking, these candidates have been able to demonstrate awareness of differences in syntax and cultures of the two languages. Excellent job!

~ Eva Cheung
 

Translation is a tricky task because it is so deceptively simple. These is never one ‘right’ translation, but there’s always a more beautiful one. ‘Beautiful’ in this case meaning accurate, careful, creative, and insightful. Precision is always the foundation of all translations, but even Google Translate can sometimes accomplish that end. Therefore, a good translator has to convey what Google couldn’t, i.e. the context, purpose, subtext, flow, and music of the original text. All five translators in this competition have risen valiantly to the daunting task and have provided wonderfully original renderings of the film voice-over. There could be a tendency to make the Chinese translation overly poetic and archaic, which is a sign that perhaps the context and purpose of the original text as a media voice-over/film subtitle was not well understood or duly appreciated.

~ Hedy Ting Bok 
 

起初聽聞這個讓孩子們承擔經典電影對白翻譯的消息,就暗自為“智慧門”多年堅持的教育深意叫好。這是在讓孩子們用自己的實際行動向世界詮釋“我可以”!如果說語言是一個便於交流的載體,那麼她背後蘊含的藝術之境就是另一種新的語言。電影是用鏡頭、音樂、畫面、文字結合起來啟迪人們思考與感受,而讓孩子們在翻譯的同時,恰恰結合了這些元素充分開啟了想像與創作空間。初讀孩子們的作品,我是帶著一些訝異的,也從他們身上學到各有特色的表達。本以為現時代孩子會更崇尚對現代文、或外語的學習與理解,想不到孩子們所呈現在我們面前的,是深厚而流暢的語言功底,與深刻的文化理解。我們有理由相信,類似的活動,會激發更多孩子基於本國文化的國際理解與多元創意,多多益善!

~ Sue Gu


Very impressive entries. The original text is challenging, but everyone is able to offer an insightful translation.  

~ Wencong Chen

Best Language Arts Awards – Visual Arts

 

           Junior Secondary

           Champion (#14)

 

Name: Tsang Ka Hei Ellie (曾嘉希)
School: St. Paul's Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 2

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

Good draftsmanship and conceptual work.

~ Doris Sommer

 

The artist’s representation of Van Gogh is stylistically unique. I love the clarity of the eyes that the artist alludes to, and am clearly able to connect the artist’s note with the visual I see. Beautiful!

~ Jahnvi Singh
 

 

          Senior Secondary

          Champion (#30)

 

Name: Lou Yan Lam Grace (劉恩霖)
School: St. Paul’s Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 4

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

Bold concept.  I like the combination of universal skull with Asian face.  Clear lines. Eloquent description.  Not as edgy in drafting; something safe here in staying inside contemporary style; but very well done.

~ Doris Sommer


Beautiful explanation and artwork. The binary of the artist’s vision comes through beautifully. The note on interpretation touches on too many points, which makes the underlying idea a little hazy, but on the whole, a beautiful interpretation.

~ Jahnvi Singh


This painting is beautifully reminiscent of the style of Frida Kahlo, but with a touch of modernism, and even minimalism. The fading of the light is crisp and beautifully done - it makes the painting glow! The painting does a great job at expressing the conceptual vision of the artist. It's interesting how the skull is tilted further on its axis than the face, seemingly implying that death is at a further distance than our daily reality yet not very far away. The shadings on the face and skull are wonderful - subtle, yet powerful. I wondered why the brain was stuck in between, perhaps implying that our mind lives between these two worlds? Beautiful work!

~ Therese Condit

           Senior Secondary

           1st Runner Up (#32)

 

Name: Lo Hei Ching (盧希澄)
School: St. Paul’s Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 4

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

Wonderful student of Van Gogh; picks up the style and also the contradiction between beauty and ugliness, plain and pleasure.  There are flaws in the English, but real daring and talent.

~ Doris Sommer


I love how the artist adopts Van Gogh’s style and self-portrait, but alters the painting by adding a grin to make the joy more apparent than Van Gogh’s original work.

~ Jahnvi Singh


This piece is very well developed and I appreciate how the style of the painting mimics the work of Van Gogh. There is a lot of flow in this piece. There are birds, yet it looks as though he is underwater. The expression on his face is intriguing. I wonder about the gesture in the left hand, as in the USA this would mean "Ok" or "Good". What did this mean to the artist? I appreciate the depth of field in this painting as well as the colours and the light that highlights and defines the contour of the figure. Nice work!

~ Therese Condit

          Senior Secondary

          1st Runner Up (#26)

 

Name: Yuen Lok Yiu Vera (袁樂遙)
School: St. Paul's Convent School (Secondary Section)

Form: 4

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

The vibrant use of colours and interesting use of markers as a medium clearly portrays the joy and life the artist wants to convey.

~ Jahnvi Singh


The richness in this painting is immediately absorbing and multi-faceted. Although the message is simple, the message and the image melt perfectly into each other. Looking at this painting, I feel the warmth of the love of a child. I love the movement in the lines, it brings energy to the painting. The colours are well-chosen and shading is nice. The use of the light blue colour seems to elicit a certain type of light that could be coming from emotion, or be a reflection of the sky. Nicely done!

~ Therese Condit

         

          Senior Secondary

          2rd Runner Up (#33)

 

Name: Kwok Tsz Yat  (郭子逸)
School: St. Paul’s Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 4

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

Fine use of contemporary imageries.

~ Doris Sommer


The complexity and intricacy of this painting are captivating. The mix of colours and patterns and styles speaks to the conceptual inspiration of the painting and the meaning that the artist derives from it. I appreciate the moments in the painting's "story" that are left ambiguous, as they seem to capture the imagination and allow the viewer to create a personal story around them. In this way, the painting expresses a specific interpretation of "madness" and reminds us that there is more to the story than what we see at first glance. Beautiful work!

~ Therese Condit
 

            Senior Secondary

           2nd Runner Up (#1)

 

Name: Lai Man Ki (賴敏琦)
School: St. Paul’s Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 6

 

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

I applaud the 3-D work, though the execution is less interesting than the proposal.

~ Doris Sommer


What I love about these sculptures is how they depict the idea of the soul. The soul is so often envisioned as being round and/or transparent, where this sculpture imagines a soul that is solid and oblique, weaving and twisting through space. The juxtaposition of the concept (the soul) with the materials, which are objects you might see every day, is a powerful comment. I wondered if the artist was trying to depict the physical tip of an iceberg, or just referencing the iceberg metaphorically? Very interesting work!

~ Therese Condit

 

           Overall Comments for the Visual Arts Work from Our Adjudicators:

Very impressive!  I hope my selection coincides with that of others.  Any of these proposals is worthy.

 ~ Doris Sommer

 

A fabulous range of works by all the artists. It is wonderful to see abstract, yet very personal interpretations by everyone. This is what Van Gogh was all about!

 ~ Jahnvi Singh

 

I am extremely impressed with all of the entries. Each has individuality and voice. This collection represents an exceptional group of talent. Keep developing ideas and concepts and you will find that your artwork becomes more unique and complex as a result.

 ~ Therese Condit

Best Language Arts Awards – Multi-media

 

           Champion (#2)

 

Name: Andrea Shangguan (上官熹玉)
School: Shenzhen Vanke Bilingual School
Grade: 7

Comments Highlights From Our Adjudicators

It is very interesting that the artist chose photos and video to depict their thoughts. I like the insight into their life as a parallel to a window into Van Gogh’s life, but the photographs could have more variety.

~ Therese Condit

People’s Choice Award

 

           Visual Arts (#32)

 

Name: Lo Hei Ching (盧希澄)
School: St. Paul’s Convent School (Secondary Section)
Form: 4

           Multi-media (#2)

 

Name: Andrea Shangguan (上官熹玉)
School: Shenzhen Vanke Bilingual School
Grade: 7

Congratulations!